Adverbs Done Right

I not only write, but I edit.That means that publisher hire me to do everything from touch-up to complete rewrites. I not only edit, but I review. I have a publisher client that sends proposals to me for evaluation. This means I see a lot of writing. Some of it is good; some, well, not so much. As I do this work I notice trends common to new writers. Mostly, I notice bad habits. One such habit has to do with adverbs.

If you've ever been to a writing conference, then you've probably heard advice that goes like this: "Kill the adverbs. Eradicate them. Excise them. Evict the little buggers." This is not new. William Strunk wrote in Elements of Style, "Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words . . ." Almost every book written about writing says something similar. So why am I repeating it here? Because as often as we're told not to use unnecessary adverbs, we are seldom shown how to use them correctly.

This came to mind while I was reading a bit of Annie Dillard's The Writing Life I came across this:

"You make the path boldly and follow it fearfully."

First thought: What? A writer of her caliber knows better than to use adverbs like that, and to use two in such a short sentence . . . Wait a minute. I read the sentence again and that forced me to lift my judgment. Dillard had just schooled me.

Here's the key with adverbs: If you can take them out and the sentences still stands, then you've done useful pruning. If the sentence deflates, then the adverbs belong.

In Writing Tools, Roy Peter Clark gives a comparison of bad adverb vs. good adverb:

1. She smiled happily. (Ouch.)

2. She smiled sadly. (Now that says something.)

The first sentence is just silly; the second creates an engaging image.

Back to Dillard's sentence. What happens if we take the adverbs out? We get this: "You make the path and follow it." Is that a good sentence? Sure, but it's not as strong as, "You make the path boldly and follow it fearfully." In this case, the adverbs not only belong, they do the heavy lifting. Removing them hobbles the sentence, and lessens the impact.

Adverbs are not evil, but they are overused so question their role in your writing. If they bring something to the table, fine; if not, boot 'em out.

Al

Comments

[Cindyscinto]

Great advice. 8^) Now I have a dilemma: help me understand verb/adverb order. Which is correct?--smiled sadly vs. sadly smiled, or walked briskly vs. briskly walked, or quickly explained vs. explained quickly. I think when an adverb indicates passage of time, it comes before the verb. If it is descriptive, it comes after the verb. Hmmm...straighten me out if you would please 8^) (I enjoyed meeting you at BR)

[Alton Gansky]

Hi, Cindy. I don't believe there is a hard and fast rule. I do know the modifier (adverb in this case) should be close to the word it modifies. A lot has to do with how the sentences flows. "She quickly explained her position" seems better to me than "She explained quickly her position just seems wrong. I would change the later to, "She explained her position quickly." But the puts a good bit of distance between the verb and the adverb. Given the choice, I'd go with the former. I'll confess that I have heard the passage of time vs. descriptor idea before.